Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Just for Fun . . .

A Little girl asked her father: Do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time? 
Father: No, some begin with - If elected I promise....! :P

They should call it the "we don't know either" department instead of "customer service"...!!

You're not satisfied with your life? Complain about it on the facebook, Do you think god subscribed to your updates...? ;)

I just ordered a chicken and an egg on eBay.....
To See Which comes First....;)

I went to the psychiatrist today. She told me I had a split personality and charged me $160. I gave her $80 and told her to get the rest from the other idiot...!! :D

I went to the psychiatrist today. She told me I had a split personality and charged me $160. I gave her $80 and told her to get the rest from the other idiot...!! :D

Sometimes the best revenge is to smile, move on, and do nothing...! :)

In Samsung Galaxy S4, the video will pause if you look away. 
In S5 a hand will come out and slap you if you look away while watching a video... :P

Schools are like riding a roller coaster, when it starts you want to stop, but when it stops, you want it to start again..!! :)

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, burden and troubles. 
Boy: But I don't have any worries or troubles. 
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet :P

May be this time Apple will sue Samsung for spelling 4S backwards and naming their new product as S4 :P

Every woman is magic, but not every man knows the trick..!!! :P

Impressed by Rahul’s lack of interest in marriage and PM’s post, Vatican offers him Pope’s post ;)

Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants... ;)

When the best actors are chosen by other actors, it's called the Oscars.
When the best actors are chosen by the people, it's called 'Elections'.

My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night.
So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift from the driver..! ;)

Planning to start an alcohol company named 'Responsibly'. So whenever someone tells you to Drink Responsibly you know what to do !! ;)

Facebook is like a chewing gum for the eyes...! ;)

Never assume that somebody loves you just because they are sweet sometimes. Make sure you’re not their “when I’m bored” person...!!

There is plenty of time to sleep after you're dead,life is for waking up and doing sumthing worth remembering !! (Y)

Sometimes being strong is my only way, Sometimes not giving a shit is my only solution, and faking a Smile is always my escape..!!

When I hear somebody sigh “life is hard”, I am always tempted to ask…”compared to what”??

Common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everyone's garden..! :P

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they’re dead...! ;)

We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing...!!

Love can neither be created nor be destroyed.
It can only be transferred from EX to NEXT...! ;)

Some people will pretend to care just so they can get a better seat to watch your struggle..!!

So basically Karma is nothing but a spiritual Boomerang...!

That awesome moment when you carry someone's baby & they refuse to go back to their parent's hands just because they like you. :)

Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone.
1) I don't have iPhone. 
2) I don't have a girlfriend....! :D

You know the talk is getting serious when the other person start using proper grammar and no smileys...!! :P

I am scared one day my fridge will take revenge on me,every half hour it will come to my room ,open the door,stare at me for three minutes,then it will leave... ! :O :P

A cop pulled me over and asked "you crashed the car behind you why didn't you look?"
I said- "I read an inspirational post that said never look back."
then we laughed & laughed and now I m in jail again...! :P :D

Earlier : Man is a Social animal.
Now : Man is a Social Networking animal.. :P

Kill them with your success and bury them with a smile...!!

So you wrote 'K' instead of 'Ok',please tell me more about the number of nano seconds you saved...! :X

I wish the best for my ex-girlfriend. I really do. I hope she meets someone honest, friendly, and kind. Because, you know, opposites attract...! :D

You will definitely succeed in your life if you follow the advices that you give to your friends..! ;)

I love when people I hate get in trouble.. :P

A good laugh and sleep are the best cure for anything...! :)

It is the ability to take a joke rather than make a joke that proves you have a good Sense of Humor

We're best friends because your weirdness is compatible with my weirdness...! ;)

Talking to an old friend makes you realize how much your life has changed...! :)

"You can't make everyone happy. So just concentrate on me !" ;)

Girlfriends/ ­boyfriends are temporary. Exes are forever...! ;)

Every time when I see a quote that relates to my situation I think, "Thank God I'm not the only one..."..! :P ;)

Haters are people who secretly wish to be you...! B)

A rejected high five is one of the biggest insults..!! :P

Truth and Dare should be renamed to 'Interrogation and Humiliation'..! :P ;)

I pretend I don't care, but deep down I really still don't care...! ;)

Teacher -What does 'COINCIDENCE' mean? 
Student - Funny, I was just going to ask you that... :P

Getting blocked by your girl friend on FB is like electronic divorce... :P ;)

Shy people notice everything but they don't get noticed...!

"I don't hate anyone... I just forget them."..!!

The most memorable people in your life will be the people who love you when you were not loving yourself..!!

Samsung have more galaxies than universe. :P

Stupidity comes natural to everyone, without discrimination ! ;)

I get so emotional when you’re not around…. That emotion is called happiness...! ;)

Don't let people depress you. Be positive and depress them first...! :P

A man was reading the newspaper during breakfast and said to his wife, "Look at this. Another beautiful actress is going to marry a rich baseball player who's a total dope!
I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the hottest wives."
His wife said, 'Thank you.'..! :D

Learn to keep your private life private, or they will make your life their entertainment...!!

Beauty without Depth is just Decoration..!!

The best friendships are based on a solid foundation of sarcasm, laughter and a dislike of the same people !!

The heaviest burden of life is " An Empty Wallet "..!!

People with best sense of humor are the most emotional ones...!

I know air is free but the concept of buying it in a bag of chips is ridiculous..!

I live in my own little world but it's ok,Everyone knows me there..!! :)

Success is nothing without someone you love to share it with...! :)

One thing that Internet taught me is stupidity is international...! ;)

The awkward moment when you actually have to tell someone you're being sarcastic..! :X

Hardest thing to answer: Describe yourself...!!

When I learn a new word, I suddenly start hearing it everywhere...! :P

Checking your phone when someone pulls out their phone is the yawn of our generation...! ;)

It's pretty bad when I'm talking to myself and I'm not even listening..! :D

Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they truly are..! :P

Learn from the mistakes of others... you can't live long enough to make them all yourselves..!!

I hate it when I am drinking and somebody tries to correct my Vodkabulary..!

I went on a diet, in 2 weeks I lost 14 days...! :P

Dear Samsung, If you design a phone for humans, why don't you show some humanity while pricing it?? XP :D

A smile is a language, that even a baby can understand. :)

Don’t place your happiness in someone else’s hands, because once they’re gone, so is your happiness..!

People usually don't notice the things you do for them until you stop doing those things...!!

Sometimes opportunity knocks on the door, but sometimes a knock on the door spoils the opportunity...!­! ;)

It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty... it's clearly almost time to order another drink... :D

If u wanna say sumthing to someone just go and tell them by urself; before they listen to the remixed version from someonelse!

If the Mayans have taught us anything, it is that if you don't finish something, it's not the end of the world.. :)

98% of a moment of silence is spent wondering when the moment of silence will be over..! ;)

After seeing a movie, I feel like the main character for the next few hours... :)

An Intelligent man will open your mind, A handsome man will open your eyes, And a Gentleman will open your heart ! :)

I just open opened a new restaurant called KARMA. There's no menu, we just give you what you deserve..!

If people have a problem with you, always remember, it is their problem, not yours :P

Me after just cleaning my room:

Wow I am never letting my room get messy again!
The next day: Has anyone seen my bed? :P

When I start teasing you, that's when you know that I'm comfortable with you.. ! :)

MY GRADUATION SPEECH : "I hate all of you, I'm out of here." .! :D

The first to apologize is the bravest,The first to forgive is the strongest, The first to forget is the happiest..! :)

Personality is 40% genetics,
40% upbringing, and
20% the last movie you watched.! ;)

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. :P 

Sometimes you have to be your own hero,
because sometimes the people you can’t live
without, can live without you....!!

Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status. After 3 it should default to "Unstable."